Somtimes Glances are Thrown
by hrewannabe
Summary: sometimes people don't see what's in front of them, they only think to wish for it and never ask; sometimes it's hard to put your feelings out there. (little bit of slash so don't like please don't read)
1. Sometimes John Casey thinks on Chuck

Some days when John is in the Buymore he thinks about Chuck Bartowski.

I don't own anything

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Watching Chuck move across the floor of the store makes John Casey wonder what it would feel like to have that scrawny body pressed up against his. John wonders what it would be like to hear Chuck gasp out his name, Casey shakes his head and turns away from the view of Chuck berating Jeff and Lester. Casey knows he can't think of Chuck like that, can't think of Chuck's bright eyes or the way he'll look at John when they're in a tight spot on a mission. John can't think of Chuck the way he wants to because he knows that one day the general might give him the order, and put out a kill on Chuck and Casey can't get involved with an asset. Casey is professional, every inch of his body lives for the United States, besides Chuck doesn't love him. Casey sees the way Chuck looks at Sarah and on John's lowest days he wishes to be Sarah or a women because then at least he would have a chance.

When on missions Casey doesn't dare look at Chuck because of Walker, he knows that if Sarah even saw him look at Chuck now then she would know how much he wished he was in her shoes. So when Sarah isn't near him Casey gazes at Chuck, longing for even a glance from the awkward man. It's gotten so bad that any attention from Chuck is good attention, butting shoulder in the store, harsh words on missions, and even pushing him up against objects when Chuck gets to testy. Casey reckons that if he can get small touches that he'll be good, fine even. Still John knows it's much more and that soon even small touches won't satisfy him.

Still Casey can't help but watch Chuck when he's in the Buymore. The way the white button up clings to the younger man's thin frame, gives John the shivers and John just wants to kind of cling to Chuck. John wants to embrace Chuck, shelter him and be sheltered in turn, something that he never had with his wife. Because while Casey had loved his ex. Wife he never felt _good _or _safe _when he was with her and John wonders if that's because somewhere out in the world there was Chuck Bartowski waiting for him.

When John watches Chuck his eyes stray to his long thin fingers. John has watched those fingers fix computers, twine in Sarah's hair, and dismantle bombs, and he is still amazed by them and sometimes John wants those fingers on him. Wants those fingers to trace every scar and mistake, wants Chucks fingers to devour his body, discovering every weakness that Casey has. Casey wants to feel Chuck's lips on his, he wonders' if they'd feel chapped or if they'd be soft. John wonders if Chuck would fight him for dominance or sweetly surrender and then John will stop himself from going any further.

Some days John Casey likes to watch Chuck Bartowski at work. John likes to think of Chuck and wants Chuck to want him, but he won't tell. John Casey is like that he'd rather be lonely than love and hurt the one he loves.


	2. Sometimes Chuck thinks on Casey

Even when Chuck is on Missions he likes to Watch Casey and Think

I totally do not own Chuck, as a matter of fact I own next to nothing what I do "own" is a dog and that's like it.

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Chuck pretends to be in love with Sarah for Ellie and his friends (even though they all know he leans more towards the male figure) and Bartowski pretends he loves Sarah in front of Sarah, John, and the general. When Chuck first brought Sarah home Ellie and Devon had pulled him aside and asked why his partner was a she and not a he, Chuck smiled and shrugged his shoulders and told them he liked her. Ellie looked at him and Chuck remembers trying so very hard to focus on Sarah and not on Casey when around his family those first few weeks because if Ellie even saw him look in Casey's direction she would know how much Chuck wanted those strong thick fingers entwined with his.

When Chuck is in the Buymore he watches Casey more. Chuck will watch the way he strides across the floor and think to himself that John's walk is military, that it tells everyone to not mess with him. Chuck notices the way John's pants curve around the muscles in ways that it simply doesn't do for other employs of the Buymore. Chuck likes the way John gets into selling the grills to customers; on bad days Chuck likes to pretend he's working near Casey when he's selling things it calms him down.

When Chuck is on missions and has Casey's voice in his ear he feels strong and more capable. It doesn't matter when Casey is nearby that he doesn't have official training or that he got kicked out of college for something he didn't even do. Casey believes in Chuck, well somewhat believes in Chuck and that's all that matters. Chuck knows that Sarah is pulling him around by the strings of his heart, well Sarah thinks she has him wrapped around her pinky finger and only Chuck knows that's not true. Chuck knows that it's not Sarah he wants next to him when he wakes up in the morning but John. John with his deep blue eyes and strong figure.

John Casey is nothing like Bryce Larkin. Bryce was honeyed words and a promise of something more that never happened. Casey is almost the flat out truth with the promise of nothing and yet Chuck feels like he can trust Casey more than he ever did with Bryce. Bryce was dark hair and a slim figure muttering under his breath as he worked in the glow of a desk lamp, a college student, and an agent. John is warm and strong and dependable.

Chuck loves to watch John talk about his guns or his life before meeting Chuck. He becomes so animated and happy, this happiness filling Chuck's body like sunlight on a chilly Sunday morning. Chuck wants and needs Casey, his voice his arms, his presence, Chuck needs everything and yet nothing all at once from him. Some days Chuck watches John Casey on missions and some days Chuck likes to think of what would have happened if he had met John first instead of Sarah, but Chuck has come to accept at least this part of his life, Chuck will never have Casey and that's how it will always be.


End file.
